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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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doodles as i relive my spideyman phase from eighth grade
#first fanart in a while!#i was rewatching the ultimate spiderman cartoon bc it was my entire childhood lol#also this also happened bc i watched deadpool and wolverine and loved it but also came out of it loving spideypool and i feel like ive been#played. somehow#their dynamic is so good and crazy and i started reading the spideypool run and its actually so insane im crying#anyways here i am sorry i forgot about tumblr for a little bit i just forgot to log in ndjfhdjjr#school starts back up again and i am Excited (fear) but hopefully i can still post stuff ehe#have a good day and week! :3#spiderman#peter parker#marvel#ok bye
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happy new year everywan!!!
#I FORGOT TO EDIT THE PHOTO BEFORE J POSTED IT ON OTHER SOCIALS#its ok ig TT hopefully it looks fine regardless#genshin impact#gaming#ga ming genshin#lantern rite#happy new year#!!!#wanted to do a bigger drawing but#midterms week got me fucked up
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my clown college grad project from december last year 🎪
#my art#oc#illustration#ok to elaborate a bit#its more of a circus/performing arts school but clown college is just easier and sillier to say so#i call it that#what da hell do i tag JFLDSKSFKD#im archiving a lot of stuff these days...#post uni burnout has been so real guys lol ill be taking a break from this proj but def wanna come back to it some day :3#IN THE MEAN TIME THO... im finally cooking up another oc story omggg im saur excited abt it hopefully i can share some art of it here soon
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my text disappeared here when i posted. what happened
#annyways whats the deal with the panicau. im not talking about like popularity or anythin g#why does n have the evil triangle solver and uzi is a ghost thats evil but also not and theres teeth??? in visor??????#i dont understand anything about it but the artstyle looks cool so i can ignore that#havent drawn this large in a while but i needed to do it for the pc screen to not be Totally crushed#a little crushing is ok. as a treat#i think i took this idea from a post i saw once but i cannot find it again for the life of me#and very intelligent prior me decided not to link it to myself so. lost media#still trying to figure out how i want to draw drone heads slash visors and have been since i started drawing md stuff#losing it#spent like an hour trying to draw something else before giving up and doing this instead#if youre lucky ill actually do it eventually#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#do i even tag mdpanic?? does this count???#constantly afraid ill mess up tagging#which is something you can do and i might be doing#and also thats a joke. hopefully
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lab grown angel wip
#art#my art#wip#flesh and meat and such#angels#technically this is part of a Big Project i'm working on but it's a small part / might not even be included so i'm ok with posting it now#i am contending with the fact that there are only so many hours in a day and i have to sleep for at least Some(a lot) of them#plus chronic pain on top of it#but there's so much i want to dooo#i started messing around with making music today#it's fun#anyways see you guys in like. a week for the finished version#hopefully
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help a disabled nonbinary lesbian get their life back together
hi everyone. i'm shroom and you've probably seen my posts before. my life is still a shitshow and nothing is coming together like it should. can't find a job, can't save up for a car, can't save up to escape this abusive household. bare necessities like food and medication and doctor's appointments take every last cent that i have. i'm also dealing with c0vid right now and it's kicking my ass completely; i've spent the better part of the last two weeks laying in my bed. i can't even complete commissions my energy is so low.
please help me. i'm hungry, and i'm tired, and i can't do this on my own. i don't have IRLs to help me like most people do. please send a few dollars my way or spread this post or commission me, anything so that i can move forward instead of sitting still and rotting away
commissions post p-yp-l c-sh-pp k-fi
#lgbt#queer#lesbian#nonbinary#please reblog#trans crowdfund#queer crowdfund#lesbian crowdfund#crowdfund#aid request#financial aid#mutual aid#community aid#community support#urgent#urgent commissions#fundraising#boost#signal boost#what i really need is therapy but i absolutely cannot add another copay onto my never ending list of bills#my debt is becomijng so overwhelming that ts hard to see the point anymore#ok. back to my bed. hopefully this gains traction. thanks for reading and sorry for always being in this situation and always posting it
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finished isat and had to make some memes about it
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat mirabelle#isat loop#isat odile#isat isabeau#isat king#text post meme#I know there's already someone who makes a bunch of these so hopefully these ones are different#I have so many text posts sitting around bc of blaseball and I want to use them for other things too#also ok I have not completely properly finished it bc I still have stuff to do in act 6. but I have finished Most Of It#honestly my new favourite game of all time I think#I will inevitably make more of these#in stars and textposts
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what kind of underwear do you think Erik and Charles wear (i'm not asking this to see them half naked) ((please believe me)) (((PLEASE)))
My Personal Belief is charles is a briefs guy while erik's a trunks guy. trunks/briefs kinda couple because i can
and idk just a lil bonus or somethin. as i do.
#nsft#probably. again A Promotion Would Be In Order From Me Personally but WHATEVER.#cherik#im too tired to tag everything ok this post'll find its people#snap sketches#not too tired for a tag ramble tho eUUGGHHH#i HAVE to post the second bit now or ill be editing it all night and for what. i will live#and my silly ass said i wouldnt draw that reading idea. well guess what im a LIAR who LIES.#i do wanna revisit that proper tho .. at least draw em by the fireplace someday but anyway#i think the funny thing is i had like. plans to draw charles in purple briefs just cause he wore them once and i chortled Unreasonably#so here we are. youll have to forgive me my friend i have a condition called If I Get An Excuse To Draw I Will#it is a very serious condition cause i need to SLEEEEPP truly and honestly locking in later i HAVE to#leaving all of you with this for the next idk twelve hours thats crazy#all i want to do is draw but i feel my eyes . Getting Weird and i have exams so i guess i should be a responsible person and sleep#i actually have a lot i need to catch up on so like. i prob wont be back on until this weekend when im Hopefully more free#'snap didnt you say that last night' I HAVE TO BE SERIOUS THIS TIME i got a lot. so i will see everyone saturday Hopefully#please give me the strength to focus for once thank you#for now good night everyone !!! please enjoy my doodlings from today. yesterday. i must not make any more for now
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Another Les Mis musical connection that's making me feral: Jean Valjean uses the same melody with which he sings to Cosette, "Believe me, / Were it within my power, / I'd fill each passing hour-- / How quiet it must be, I can see, / With only me for company"...
When he sings "You are free, / And there are no conditions. / No bargains or petitions! / There's nothing that I blame you for. / You've done your duty--nothing more" to Javert.
In my journey to map out the various leitmotifs in the show, this one really flung me for a loop because what does it meannnn?? This is the only time we hear the melody in the show, and it's applied in two very different circumstances, where the relationship Valjean has to the characters involved could not be more opposite. What connects them?? But I think I have it.
It's a reluctant release. Not of the people, but of his own desires regarding them. Let me explain.
Valjean very distinctly wants things from both Cosette and Javert, which he sings about on the rising part of the melody. With Cosette, he wants to be the center of her life: "Were it within my power, I'd fill each passing hour;" on the other hand, he desperately wants Javert to leave him alone. When he has Javert at his mercy, he absolutely does want to trade lives, which is why he sings it on the rising part: "And there are no conditions, no bargains or petitions." He does want these things--but he's letting them go.
And that's where the falling part of the melody comes in. In both situations, Valjean knows he can't have what he wants. So he gives up that desire. He accepts that Cosette wants someone else, and doesn't blame her for it ("How quiet it must be, I can see, with only me for company,"), the same way he accepts the situation between him and Javert ("There's nothing that I blame you for. You've done your duty, nothing more."). That's why immediately afterwards, he tells Javert his address, and why shortly after that, he prays that Marius be brought home to Cosette.
Cosette is his biggest security, and Javert is the biggest threat to his security. But in this little melody, he sets them free (Cosette metaphorically, and Javert literally). He acknowledges what he wants, and accepts that he can't have it, even though it hurts.
And if that ain't the most Jean Valjean thing, I don't know what is.
#les mis#les miserables#jean valjean#meta#javert#cosette#my meta posts#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay is a classical literature nerd#kay is a musical theater nerd#the way this took me a whole hour to figure out#bc lemme tell you when i first found the melody matched in those two places i almost lost it lol#i was like what on earth could this possibly mean?? and then spent forever just talking to myself lol#hopefully this made sense!!!#and also the way i was like hm ok it's valjean so it has to be self-sacrificial in some way...that's always part of it...#and then it came to me in a flash lol
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i just want you to know.
#luke hemmings lyrics strike again 🫡#feeling emotional about the buckley siblings at 1am ok so just gonna post this and hopefully go to sleep#evan buckley#maddie buckley#911 abc#911edit#buckley siblings#m*edits
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gone right into my heart
i. Fundamentally, mean children everywhere are all the same.
ii. Eustace Scrubb didn't think of himself as mean, of course, but he was. Cruel, petty, entitled, spoiled - all fine descriptors.
iii. All mean children have tough, scaly hides under which they conceal vulnerable flesh. They breathe fire and hope no one notices that it reeks of rot. Their claws are sharp, and because of this they cannot write in soft sand or hold hands with their loved ones.
iv. Eustace's cousins came to stay for the summer, and the worst part of it all was that it'd been years since he'd gotten a proper rise out of them. It was infuriating! Having them around would be no fun at all.
iv. Later, in Narnia, Eustace began to understand why they were so impervious to him. He'd been mean, sure, but they were knights.
v. Take me home, take me home, take me home, he said. Over and over. Take me home where it's safe. Take me home where I am in control. Not afraid. Not vulnerable.
vi. Eustace was never in control. It took becoming a dragon - the natural culmination of all the entitlement and cruelty that lived within him - to finally make that clear.
vii. He was wrapped in tough, scaly hide when the Lion came by moonlight. Eustace was a dragon, but if he still couldn't reckon with knights, what chance did he have against a lion?
viii. The lion's claws were sharper than his. They were sharper than anything else in the world.
ix. When those claws tore into his dragon hide, Eustace thought he would die. Perhaps, in a way, he did.
x. Claws that sharp should not have been capable of such dexterity or care. Yet they found their mark like scalpel blades in a surgeon's hands; not like the crude things that hung off of Eustace'a wretched dragon-limbs.
xi. He could feel them tearing through the scales. The tough dragon hide parted like butter. The lion's claws dug deeper, through tissue and muscle and the contorted cage of his ribs. They found his heart, and struck.
xii. After that, there was a pulling sensation. Eustace should have been dead, but his heart was beating, even impaled as it was with the lion's claws. Slowly, with an agonizing gentleness, the lion drew the boy's heart out of the gnarled dragon skin.
xiii. The body that came with it was soft and vulnerable and naked. How could he pretend at meanness now, with his armor so thoroughly destroyed? It would rend him to pieces.
xiv. Oh, thought Eustace. Was I ever anything else? Or have I always been this soft and naked?
xv. Yet the lion did not leave Eustace to his nakedness. He dressed him in soft clothes before returning him to camp.
#we're in the home stretch with these character studies gang#idk I've cleaned this up a bunch but it still feels real purple prosey#but the heart of it is pretty clear i think. so hopefully it works ok#it's been too long since i posted narnia on my narnia blog#narnia#pontifications and creations#the king's man#leah stories#into light
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hopefully this aids you all in your endeavors to shift realities to camp whiteman
#acswy reference#official map#WWEEEEE TIME TO PLAY ZELDA AND THEN SLEEP LOL#hopefully the quality on this is ok#haven’t posted art to tumblr dot com in Years
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Sebastian Sallow's List of Priorities (in no particular order):
Figure out what the hell I'm going to do when I graduate;
Figure out how the hell I'm going to finish this bloody Charms essay before tomorrow; and
Figure out what the hell is going on between us
Sebastian sits in an undisturbed corner of the library - nobody ever comes to this table because it's tucked away between shelves of incredibly dense magical theory books - and is twirling his quill in his fingers, watching the ink splatter on the list he spent his precious time writing instead of the Charms essay he should be working on. He's far away from the first-years who like to congregate by the windows and watch the leaves fall softly to the ground rather than study for their classes. He's made especially sure that he is far, far away from her.
It's not his choice, mind you, but he needs to be a gentleman about these things. If she needs some time and space to figure out that she's as crazy for him as he is her, fine. But even Sebastian Sallow's patience runs thin, and he's not sure how much longer he can give her to come to her senses before he snaps and takes matters into his own hands. If things were up to him, the two of them would be sitting far too close together now in this secluded corner, and maybe he would need to put a hand over her mouth to ensure her complete silence as he runs a hand up her thigh.
Now that he knows what delicious sounds can come out of her mouth - sounds that he caused - he's been having a hard time concentrating on, well, anything. Sebastian surreptitiously glances across the library to where she's sitting and studying with his sister and Imelda. Ever since the events after their Divination class, Sir Cadogan has taken it upon himself to follow Sebastian around the halls of the castle, tripping through frames and disrupting their inhabitants as he lectures Sebastian on love. The tea party women had managed to convince the knight that he had disrupted an amorous exchange, and Sebastian fervently wishes they hadn't.
The whole school is abuzz with rumors about who it could be. Nobody has even come close so far with their guesses, but Anne and Imelda are having too much fun teasing him about it. Somehow, she has managed to avoid suspicion - he wonders how this is even possible, since she's never been able to hide what she's thinking. He makes eye contact with her - has she been staring at him this whole time? - and she flushes before looking over to Imelda, who's laughing too loudly at something Anne's just said. Sebastian can't tear his eyes away from her profile, his eyes following the curve of her eyebrow, the slight upturn of her lips as she smiles at her friends, her eyes as they dart back to him, her cheeks as she turns an even darker shade of red as she realizes he's still watching her. She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, and rests her chin on her hand as she tries to look absorbed in what Anne is saying to her.
Sebastian wonders if she's thought about him as much as he's thought about her. Judging by how she had snogged him back, he's positive that she feels the same way, but then he remembers how she had looked at him before she fled, and he's not so sure. He sighs as he looks back to his list, bringing his quill back to the third item and ripping the paper as he crosses it out again. His mind has been going in circles since that moment and he doesn't know what to think. He slowly puts everything into his schoolbag before heading out of the library for yet another freezing cold shower that hopefully tempers his now-permanent state of arousal whenever she's around.
He doesn't notice her eyes following him as he walks out of the library.
He doesn't hear her hurried excuse to Anne and Imelda as she shoves her things into her bag and rushes to follow him.
He doesn't hear her light footsteps as she gets closer to him.
When she puts a hand out to touch his arm as he waits for the moving staircase to stop, with a soft, "Sebastian" accompanying it, he nearly jumps out of his skin. He was so absorbed with thoughts of her, that to see her standing at his side, closer than she had been since they kissed was almost his snapping point.
"Can we talk?" she asks, looking almost embarrassed as she avoids his eyes. She instead looks determinedly at his collar. He thinks she probably notices that he swallows nervously before acquiescing, but she says nothing as she turns and starts hurrying away from him without waiting to see if he follows her.
She must know that he would follow her anywhere at this point.
from my oneshot🫶🫶🫶
I just really wanted to draw these two idiots😭💘
#i also want to draw Sebastian being chased by sir Cadogan bc it’s so funny to me😭😭😭#it’s literally like thst meme of the trumpet boy chasing the girl#anyways this is before *that* scene (iykyk 😭💓) & I want to draw that toooooooooooo#I love this oneshot so much🥹🫶 I reread it bc I wrote it for MYSELF !!!!!#im going to get to some more trick or treaters later on today!!!! sorry I didn’t get them all yet it was more than I expected😳😳#so hopefully soon!!! sorry I didn’t do them all yesterday but I stopped myself to edit my fic & post the next chapter#also😳😳 I woke up to 3 comments on my newest chapter😳😳#it might not seem like much but I spent so many months posting to crickets that it just makes me so happy#to connect with people and have them enjoy what I create😭🫶🥹💘#ok I’m done being sappy hope you enjoy my idiot portraits !!!!!!! 🙏🙏🙏#bc these two are idiots but they’re OUR idiots🫶🫶🫶#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart#sebastian sallow x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfic
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maybe he draws sometimes. maybe. mostly just buckets tho.
#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tspud#tsp#crows art#yayay silly comic ^___^#now time to work on the sad one#i wasnt sure what to do with stanley's expression in the last panel so hopefully it is silly enough#anyway. drawing silly comics is calming. smiles#i hope this is silly enough.. im second guessing myself i just gotta post this. ok bye.
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"nobody wants to work anymore" but a low paying casual retail job wants you to travel to a capital city you don't live in, which is a considerable distance and time travelled from you (when you actively have a branch of this shop in your LOCAL shopping centre, 15mins down the road); for a group interview assessment centre. they then make you CONGA LINE into the said group interview with party poppers and streamers. like ma'am. I don't care how "ironic hipster millennial and 90s nostalgia" and "life of the party" this brand is supposed to be. but I ain't conga lining into this interview like a fucking clown. fuck some hiring managers and HR depts, honestly.
#life#about me#shut up ilona#ilona's jobhunting thoughts and woes lol#ilona's work thoughts#ilona's work dilemmas#ok i know i wrote a post on this a while ago but hopefully this'll go further lmao#and also i know it was 10 years ago but i still cant get over how embarrassing this fucking was#and then i got understandably rejected for 'not being bubbly enough'#like i came here for a JOB INTERVIEW not streamers and a fucking conga line#which is what this was experience was like since you shared the bistro of miranda rsl (a southern suburb of sydney) with 100 other applican#and your group was made up of like 8 to 12 people (i think mine was 10 maybe??]#again sydney is up to an an hour/an hour and a half to 2 hours north of me and is like 100kms away (dont ask me in miles)
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